In this last week between Christmas and the new year, I've been doing lots of sleeping and more sleeping. I've stopped. I've had a quiet week. I don't generally do quiet weeks. They just don't really exist in my world. There is just no room for them and I am the kind of person who likes to go, go, go, but it can take it's toll on a person. Granny had Goose for five days (they had a lovely camping trip together) Mr FGB was home, we pulled out of our planned holiday with a group of friends and we stopped (as much as is possible when life still keeps moving). It was nice to breathe.
I can't seem to start a new year without writing some kind of reflective post to bring in the new year. It doesn't seem right to move on without one. You can find the last two year's reflections here and here. I see many changes this year. All positive. I can't wait!
I feel like I've been swimming through deep water for a long time and just keeping my head afloat and slowly, slowly, I've been making my way through to the other side. I've very much been head down with blinkers on for the last four years just to survive. Focusing on one foot after the other. Having my last two kids just over a year apart, having just moved back to Melbourne with a husband working ridiculous hours along with our Mums both losing their husbands within the following 9 months very nearly killed me. I've been slowly, slowly coming back from that place and I now feel like I can look up and see the world around me. So I'm now at a place where maybe I can spend a little less time wading through the water that at one time was threatening to drown me and just have a rest on the shore line every now and then.
I have high hopes that this year will be a much needed breath of fresh air.
2013 - one word. I'm not so much into New Years resolutions, but I like to give each year a word. I've had the year of 'me' (2010) which turned out the be the year of 'exhaustion', the year of 'survival' (2011) and last year (2012) started off as 'balance' which seemed far too unattainable and ended up as the year to 'shine'. This year the word that sums up my hopes for the year is 'breathe'.
say yes to my kids and no to others.
space - physical space and head space.
This year I need to breathe. To take the time to be able to inhale and exhale fully.
This year there is actually potential for this to happen. I'll have more physical space and room as we are moving house at the end of the month. (a quick, but necessary, decision to move to larger quarters - more on that later). I'm cutting down on a lot of external activities. Bear goes off to school this year and Frog to four year old kinder leaving me two whole days (well, two whole six hour school days - that's twelve hours - I've been longing for that for 9 years!) People have been asking me what I will do with myself - my list is a mile long! I'm under no illusion. Life will still be busy. I like it that way to a certain extent, but my aim is to be a less cranky Mum and maybe, just maybe feel like I'm a little more on top of things and not forever chasing my tail and feeling overwhelmed.
We have a month of 'slow' ahead of us with no routine and more family time, lots of sunshine and sleep-ins. Of course in all of that we're still moving house and celebrating a nine year old birthday in there... so not too slow. Our slow.
What are your plans for 2013?
Do you have a word for each year like me?
P.S. These photos of our family were taken by my lovely & talented friend Susannah on a fun and relaxing morning last month. If you'd like some photos taken of you & your fam and you live in Melbourne - she's your gal!